Because Facebook has a penchant for reminding its users of past posts, and thus reminding me of a monumental moment in my life occurred two years ago this week (and I’m ridiculously off on my blog posting schedule), this Pschology Sunday is going to be literal and personal.
I think most people can pinpoint a specific moment where their lives changed–good, bad, or otherwise. For me, few years ago I suffered a personal trauma and found myself in a deep depression. I ain’t gonna front. It was ugly. I didn’t have the skills to cope, so I went out and learned them through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. Drugs helped me get out of bed, but CBT taught me skills to get through the day, and the next, and the next…
I’m still a work in progress.
That trauma, though, wasn’t my turning point. What changed my life was chatting with my therapist who didn’t tell me I was crazy like I’d feared. Instead, he helped me understand I was profoundly lonely.
Two years ago, my therapist challenged me to make some friends by joining Meet Up. Through that I found my way to a #lifeofyes presentation and #fearexperiment
I wanted to sing, but a capella wasn’t offered at FE10. And my introversion definitely wasn’t cool with me doing improv, so I danced. Gloria Mwez is an amazing and patient, and firm dance coach. She pulled so much out of our DE7 crew. Since then some of us have moved across the country, gotten engaged and married, attained degrees, started new careers, written books, traveled the globe, produced art, and checked boxes off our bucket lists we didn’t know were there. I’m mad proud of all of my FE10 family and myself!
I’m honored to be a part of the Fear Experiment family–in more ways than I can articulate. Yo! A bunch of strangers got together, learned new skills, and performed on the stage at the Park West, y’all! I also had an allergy fit because of the smoke machine during our last couple of numbers, but I DID THAT! sneezing and runny eyes and all. I DID THAT!
Today I was having a discussion about meaningful touch, and Saya Hillman through her Mac n Cheese Productions was brought up as one whose touch changes lives with her superpower of facilitation. I’m so thankful that she is who she is. And I’m grateful to my chosen family and my blood family for showing up to support me then and now.
One thing I learned in CBT and from Saya is to DO IT SCARED. Fear is natural, but we can’t let it stop us from attempting to live our best lives. It’s easy to be fooled into thinking where we are is the best version of ourselves, but when we tap into that childlike ambition and fearlessness to try it anyway, we’re better for it. We may look silly or be terrible or be amazing. *shrugs* so what? We tried. And trying beats standing still and waiting for life to come to you. If we don’t keep moving we’ll stiffen to stone, becoming bitter and immovable. That’s not the legacy I want to leave behind.
How about you?
Blessings, y’all.
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