*whoosh* Writing, editing, and self-publishing are crazy exhausting. For now, I will banish any thought of marketing, otherwise, I may, in fact, hurl.

In the spirit of transparency, I admit that I hadn’t given the next steps of the writing process enough respect. Sure, I can crank out hundreds of thousands of words, but what to do with them after that? Rest – Re-read – Revise – Rest – Edit – Repeat. That merry-go-round is exhausting, but it’s a good kind of tired. And something that, again, I hadn’t understood or fully respected until now.

Most parents like to scare their kids with the “wait until you have kids of your own” threats. And it’s true. We like to think we’re all unique and clever enough to avoid common pitfalls. But maybe they aren’t pitfalls at all. Maybe these challenges are a rite of passage. How can we know what we’re made of if we never face anything difficult?

Boy, am I learning a lot about myself as I struggle to complete these final steps to publication.

Covet your crit partners
It can be discouraging to write and not have readers. But it also fosters a false sense of excellence. And I’ve been writing in solitude for a very, very long time.

I’ve tried crit partners and groups and workshops both in person and online, and sadly, I haven’t found the depth of critique that I seek, nor have I found a group or partner(s) who provides balanced reciprocity. Maybe I’m too eager and get taken advantage of in these situations. Maybe I just am grossly lacking in social acumen. Maybe my expectations are just too high. It’s probably all of the above. But, I’m gonna find my tribe one of these days. Joining my local RWA chapter has definitely made me feel less alone out there.

Just do it
The mister and I were discussing my lack of progress in the realm of publication, and my ‘excuse’ was that I was rewriting and revising a novel I’d written this past spring (that I hadn’t declared finished so I could move to the editing stage). So he suggested I take an ages-old novella I had finished and publish it. Well, I writhed and whined for days … weeks … about it, but folks who crossed my path and knew my challenges kept telling me that I needed to check that ever-elusive ‘publish’ box by any means necessary. I needed a win.

Let me tell y’all something. That story was a hot mess *insert poo emoji*! Embarrassingly terrible. SO many grammatical errors. Head hopping. Idiotic dialogue attributions. You name it, I was guilty of it. But the bones were strong.

My gut told me to rewrite the whole ding-dang thing since I’m heads-and-shoulders a better writer today than I was all those years ago.

Here’s some free advice: always listen to your gut.

Now five drafts later and I’m still revising, finally making sense of sentient body parts and dangling modifiers. Fact checking for things I fact-checked like five years ago. Paralyzing myself with fear when I thought I was in the home stretch of this project and discovered my timeline was off.

I cried, y’all. After months of revisions and edits, I thought I was nearly finished and ready for proofreading and formatting when I decided to check one more thing. I went to bed angry crying and ready to throw the whole book in the trash. How could I ask readers to suspend disbelief? I used real events and places. Nobody who was interested in my book could ignore that. I couldn’t–I wouldn’t–if I was the reader.

Morning brought clarity and a solution that didn’t require massive rewrites. YAY!

So here I am on the cusp of publishing my first book, and I’m actually quite proud of myself. It wasn’t even something I had on my schedule for this year, or ever, but I’m pleased. My cover is cute and is just so me. My book is fun, but it’s rough at times. There’s a happy for now. And ain’t that what life is? We gotta find our happy for now as we work through the rough places.

Blessing, y’all.